Just like me

January 04, 2020

Growing up, I had fond memories of my dad singing. He sang in church, in the car, at the table, while he worked, and when he put us down for bed at night. One song I vividly remember was "I want to Be Just Like You" by Phillips Craig & Dean. (My parents listened to the best of the Christian 90s music. . . Rich Mullins, Point of Grace, etc. So many synthesizers. But so good.)

Anyway, "I want to Be Just Like You" was a song about a father looking to imitate Jesus so that his son could have a godly example. (I think Rodney Atkins stole this idea some years later.) The chorus ends with "I want to be just like you because he wants to be like me."

The words of this song have been swirling through my head the past few days as I've hit a similar realization with Esther. She wants so badly to do everything I do... exactly how I do it. All the way down the the phrases and mannerisms. It is humbling and frighting at times. As she has recently entered the "three-nager" stage of life, our squabbles are many. She is growing in her independence and wants to assert herself as my equal. This is a challenge.

Two nights ago, after dealing with a tantrum, I was doing my breathing exercises to calm myself down from an inner brewing cauldron of mom-rage when I saw this:

I didn't realize that after helping me clean, she had put her broom back where I stored my vacuum. Things like this happen almost every day. I change Streator and she runs to change her baby. I load up the diaper bag and she starts packing her backpack for the day.

And then I remember.

Sure, she is a cute little sinner, but she also has an innate desire to observe and learn from the things I do every day. This is endearing but it is also humbling.

It means she pretends to be "texting a friend" on her "cell phone" sometimes when I'm trying to get her attention.

It means she has outbursts or is impatient when she cannot figure something out.

At times, the weight of discipling another soul feels crushing, but those are the times when I have forgotten about the Gospel. We are all sinners and we all make mistakes, but because of the work of Christ on the cross, there is now no condemnation over those who are saved. I can see my sin, repent, and move on. I can encourage Esther to do the same.

So because of God's grace:

I can repent and ask for forgiveness in front of Esther.

I can pray with her to ask God for help in our weaknesses.

And in His miraculous working, I see Esther doing things like:

Pulling out her Bible and sitting next to me while I read mine.

Praying to God the same way I do.

Singing the worship songs that I play when I'm having a hard time.

The best we can do for our kids is point them to the life-changing LOVE of Christ, and fill their hearts and minds with His word. You CANNOT do that for your kids if you have not already done that for yourself. Take God at His word today and bring your brokenness. Watch what He does.

"If you seek Him, you will find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart." - Deuteronomy 4:29

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28