Husband Goals
My husband's birthday is this month, and I've been thinking about how much I appreciate all that he does. Today marks the 7th day in a row that he has been gone 12-14 hours a day. This is the life of a medical resident. He is a lover of God, amazing husband, incredible father, faithful friend, and highly skilled physician completing his residency in pediatrics. . . and he seems to make it all look easy.
Let me tell you something. It's not.
I can feel him fighting against the burden of his job. Of course, pediatrics is a rewarding field, but it comes with much heartache: notifying the parents of a pre-term baby that their child is not going to make it, helping parents cope with a new and challenging diagnosis, showing grace and tact with parents or patients who ignore your advice and slander you to your face.
I can feel him fighting against the drag of society to disconnect, self-indulge, and shirk the responsibility of family life. I feel him fighting for our marriage and fighting for our family.
But the focus of this post is not to brag about my husband. Instead, I want to highlight a few attributes I find encouraging in his life that I bet you can find in your spouse as well. When I was a teenager, I remember a bible study leader asking us to make a "list" of things we were looking for in a future spouse. What tends to happen is that we form an image in our minds of what our spouse "could be" after years and years of sanctification. Then we hit our first year or marriage and we are disappointed that he isn't leading us in prayer and quiet time every morning.
The degree to which you worship your spouse and what they have to offer is directly correlated to the disappointment, frustration and miscommunication you will experience in marriage. Our spouses were not created to meet our deepest needs. God does that. Instead, they are meant to point us to Christ and His all-satisfying, redeeming love. Additionally, our marriages are meant to image the love between Christ and His church to the world (Ephesians 5:22-32).
We put a lot of pressure on our husbands to attain to some sort of "ideal" or "husband goal." Instead, let us ask "what does a godly husband look like right now?" In other words, what are the qualities that God lays out in scripture that should be found in ever increasing measure? (Not fully developed and complete, but "in progress.")
Here are four things I have seen in six short years of marriage:
1. A Godly husband grieves over his sin
He acknowledges his weaknesses and leans completely on the fullness of Christ in him to shine through the gaps. He is dependent on God's mercy, and it leads his family to do the same. (Colossians 2:6-15, Matthew 5:7).
2. A Godly husband is humble
He does not feel the need to flex his intellectual, spiritual, or physical muscles in a crowd. Instead, he leads with humility. (Proverbs 27:2)
3. A Godly husband understands he is accountable
He understands the gravity of being accountable to God for the spiritual, physical and emotional wellbeing of his family, and that drives him to the throne of grace, where he holds them open-palm before his maker. He acknowledges that it is the LORD who ultimately leads and guides his family's steps. (Ephesians 5:25-28, Hebrews 4:6, Proverbs 16:9).
4. A Godly husband helps you grow in Christ
He is willing to endure patiently and sacrificially for the sake of your sanctification. This means he is willing to challenge and sharpen you while also depending on the Holy Spirit to do the work. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 1 Peter 3:7, Proverbs 27:17, Philippians 2:13).
Notice how none of these are dependent on human strength or aptitude. They are all dependent on the strength and work of God. As I mentioned, I am not trying to exalt my husband (or any husband for that matter.) I am also not trying to make you feel discontent with your husband. Instead, I want to encourage you to show grace and mercy to him.
Is he displaying any of these qualities? Point that out and thank him.
Is he lacking? Pray for him.
Show the mercy that you would like to be shown in all the areas of your life where you fall short. I know that I have plenty of areas where Christ is shaping and growing me. I need people to show me grace as I slowly plod along this pilgrim way. Your husband is no different.
Let me tell you something. It's not.
I can feel him fighting against the burden of his job. Of course, pediatrics is a rewarding field, but it comes with much heartache: notifying the parents of a pre-term baby that their child is not going to make it, helping parents cope with a new and challenging diagnosis, showing grace and tact with parents or patients who ignore your advice and slander you to your face.
I can feel him fighting against the drag of society to disconnect, self-indulge, and shirk the responsibility of family life. I feel him fighting for our marriage and fighting for our family.
But the focus of this post is not to brag about my husband. Instead, I want to highlight a few attributes I find encouraging in his life that I bet you can find in your spouse as well. When I was a teenager, I remember a bible study leader asking us to make a "list" of things we were looking for in a future spouse. What tends to happen is that we form an image in our minds of what our spouse "could be" after years and years of sanctification. Then we hit our first year or marriage and we are disappointed that he isn't leading us in prayer and quiet time every morning.
The degree to which you worship your spouse and what they have to offer is directly correlated to the disappointment, frustration and miscommunication you will experience in marriage. Our spouses were not created to meet our deepest needs. God does that. Instead, they are meant to point us to Christ and His all-satisfying, redeeming love. Additionally, our marriages are meant to image the love between Christ and His church to the world (Ephesians 5:22-32).
We put a lot of pressure on our husbands to attain to some sort of "ideal" or "husband goal." Instead, let us ask "what does a godly husband look like right now?" In other words, what are the qualities that God lays out in scripture that should be found in ever increasing measure? (Not fully developed and complete, but "in progress.")
Here are four things I have seen in six short years of marriage:
1. A Godly husband grieves over his sin
He acknowledges his weaknesses and leans completely on the fullness of Christ in him to shine through the gaps. He is dependent on God's mercy, and it leads his family to do the same. (Colossians 2:6-15, Matthew 5:7).
2. A Godly husband is humble
He does not feel the need to flex his intellectual, spiritual, or physical muscles in a crowd. Instead, he leads with humility. (Proverbs 27:2)
3. A Godly husband understands he is accountable
He understands the gravity of being accountable to God for the spiritual, physical and emotional wellbeing of his family, and that drives him to the throne of grace, where he holds them open-palm before his maker. He acknowledges that it is the LORD who ultimately leads and guides his family's steps. (Ephesians 5:25-28, Hebrews 4:6, Proverbs 16:9).
4. A Godly husband helps you grow in Christ
He is willing to endure patiently and sacrificially for the sake of your sanctification. This means he is willing to challenge and sharpen you while also depending on the Holy Spirit to do the work. (Ephesians 5:25-28, 1 Peter 3:7, Proverbs 27:17, Philippians 2:13).
Notice how none of these are dependent on human strength or aptitude. They are all dependent on the strength and work of God. As I mentioned, I am not trying to exalt my husband (or any husband for that matter.) I am also not trying to make you feel discontent with your husband. Instead, I want to encourage you to show grace and mercy to him.
Is he displaying any of these qualities? Point that out and thank him.
Is he lacking? Pray for him.
Show the mercy that you would like to be shown in all the areas of your life where you fall short. I know that I have plenty of areas where Christ is shaping and growing me. I need people to show me grace as I slowly plod along this pilgrim way. Your husband is no different.
Comments
Post a Comment