Anxiety & Depression Part 2: "It's not that simple"
Perhaps one of the most defeating experiences for someone struggling with anxiety is talking to someone who "just doesn't get it" and downplays the feelings. This is not to say that people who do not understand anxiety are incompetent. It's not their fault! They have never experienced what you are going through. On the flip side, we are not more special, wounded, victimized, or worthy of pity than any other person on the planet. I am so tired of click-bait articles that try to make you feel justified in claiming that you have the worst life and everyone should know it (e.g. "10 reasons Why Teachers have the hardest job," "6 reasons why Doctors are underpaid," "The truth about being a Walmart Sales Clerk." All of humanity struggles with something, so let's just level the playing field and agree with Dan Manningham who said, "Life is hard. God is good. Don't confuse the two."
I thought it would be best to begin with a broad definition of anxiety and depression.
What is it?
There are so many types of clinical anxiety, but the DSM-V would identify anxiety as "causing clinically significant distress or impairment in social, academic, occupational or other important areas of functioning." In short, you know you are struggling with anxiety when you are struggling to function in your daily life.
Additionally, when I use the word "depression," I'm talking about a significant mood change that lasts for an extended period of time and can be debilitating.
Why is it so hard to talk about?
Even now, after I've come so far, there is still a catch in my throat when I tell someone about this blog I am writing. . . this fear that I will be judged or seen as someone who doesn't have it all together. But nobody has it all together, and if we understood that, I think we would be more willing to talk. Another reason it is so hard to talk about is that perhaps you HAVE reached out and you were given some really bad advice. Maybe someone told you that you did not have enough faith for God to heal you. At any rate, there is a "shame" that most people feel when they consider sharing their struggles with anxiety and depression. Ironically, this only makes the condition worse. I think it would be helpful to dissect the word "anxiety" a little bit.
Doesn't the bible say "be anxious for nothing?"
I've heard this line many times, and when people say it they mean: "you are sinning by being anxious." I would argue that it is more complex than that. As I mentioned in the introduction blog, I believe that we are mind, body and soul. Anxiety must be tackled in each of those areas. You can have a right heart before God and still have a panic attack. Certain diseases and sicknesses can cause hormone levels to be thrown out of whack so that you are feeling anxious. When my daughter was born, I went through a debilitating episode of postpartum depression. I don't think that I was sinning when I burst into spontaneous sobbing spells and my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. My hormones were just wonky. In the same breath, I will say "the root of it all is sin."
WHAT?!
Let me explain.
In the garden, everything was perfect. Minds were perfect. Bodies were perfect. Souls were right with God. Sin entered and EVERYTHING was tainted. Brains no longer produce and process chemicals like serotonin properly. Heart valves no longer work indefinitely. Souls are also corrupted. They now long for and worship things that do not satisfy: food, sex, money, fame, friends, family, The Bachelorette, Snapchat, chocolate, FOX News, styles of church worship, cats, and things like these.
Therefore, we have a mind, body, soul corruption problem and a really confusing mess. Sometimes The Church struggles with the term "clinical anxiety" because it starts to sound really science-y and we get hives. This always baffles me because there are plenty of scenarios where most Christians would welcome science into the conversation (i.e. medical problems, scientific evidence of 6-day creation, etc). Yet when it comes to mental health, fundamentalists suddenly renege and say "there is no physicality or science to your struggle. You're just a really bad Christian."
Church, I think we can do better than that.
How do we handle "sin" in an anxious person? I think we handle it the way we would in a person who has any type of thorn in the flesh... in other words: the way you would handle a normal person. Why am I talking about this and why does it matter? I think it matters because so many people are feeling alone and isolated, and Satan loves that. (More to come in future blogs about Satan's heyday with mental health). I think it matters because people struggling with anxiety do not need more condemnation. They need truth and they need someone to listen.
"I still don't see the difference between clinical and spiritual anxiety (as in Philippians 4:6-7)."
Maybe an example would help:
Sometimes when Esther wakes up crying in the night, my chest starts tightening and the walls start closing in. I've worked though this scenario with my counselor before. After talking through it, I realized what was happening. I was believing some lies and had some major cognitive distortions. I realized I was telling myself things like "a good mom would not let their baby scream" . . ."I must have done something wrong" . . . "I ruined her sleep schedule yesterday." All of those things were building up inside me causing a lot of frustration. Before counseling, I would not have made those connections. All I knew was: "I feel super anxious."
Philippians 4:6-7 says "be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition make your requests known to God." I've done that over and over. I have prayed to God over the years and told him that I was feeling anxious, but I did not know why. I thought I was making my requests known to him, but I just didn't know what those requests should be. I would propose that a spiritual anxiety is one that "knows" the facts but distrusts God in the face of those facts. In other words: "God, I know that you love me regardless of how imperfect I am, but I just cannot accept that. I cannot believe that when I feel like such a failure."
Consider this analogy:
Let's say you go in for a checkup and the doctor finds a bad mole on your back. After taking a biopsy, he discovers that it is a form of skin cancer. You are genetically pre-disposed to this because you have a history of skin cancer in your family and you have fair skin. Why did you get skin cancer? Was it because of sin? Well, technically yeah. Because of the Fall, your melanocytes had a mutation in their tumor suppressor genes and.... (sorry, science teacher).
Anyway, your skin cells are not working how they used to. AHA but isn't this still a result of your WILLFUL sinning? Remember when you were 12 and your mom told you to put sunscreen on and you DELIBERATELY disobeyed? Well THERE is your problem! You need to repent. Had you been more faithful, maybe you wouldn't be in this situation.
Would any normal person talk to someone that way? No. But we talk like that to people with mental illnesses. The bedrock truth is that SIN IS THE CAUSE. But we really need to have more grace. Yes, their brain may not be working how it should. Because of the fall, there might be some genetic predisposition to some chemical imbalance. Perhaps there was trauma as a kid. Maybe they were abused. Maybe they have a panic attack when they see an EMT because it reminds them of the day their loved one died in a car accident. Maybe there really isn't a good reason.
At some point in their journey, do you think they willfully chose to ignore the voice of reason in regards to their mental health? Yep. Do you think they became friends with a narcissist without even realizing it? Do you think they dated that guy their mom warned them about? Was that sin? Yes.
Can you see how ALL of us wind up reaping the consequences of our actions? To me, clinical anxiety feels more "nebulous"; without a cause. There is probably a spiritual root somewhere, but it may not always be apparent. Waves of anxiety will come. What God cares about is getting to the heart... to your soul... and making it whole again. Maybe if you took time to sit down with a counselor, you would reach that conclusion, but you will never get there if nobody is willing to listen. Can you see how maybe we need to have more grace with each other?
Someone without Jesus CAN find relief through counseling and medication, but they've neglected the soul. This is where my worldview comes into play. Anxiety and depression off the table, we are all still sinners. It's not like we are want for examples of ways we have royally screwed up. No matter what, we all need Jesus. The greatest problem in your life is not your anxiety, it is your sin. . . all sorts of things are fricked up because of your sin and anxiety is just one of them.
The thing is... it's SO much more complex than we make it out to be. I'm not trying to escape judgement. I'm not trying to ignore God's Word. I'm just trying to make sense of the world like the next person. I know it is really hard to understand. I want to honor the LORD and uphold His word as supreme, and I'm asking you to stop and look really hard. Look at the heart... and have compassion.
I thought it would be best to begin with a broad definition of anxiety and depression.
What is it?
There are so many types of clinical anxiety, but the DSM-V would identify anxiety as "causing clinically significant distress or impairment in social, academic, occupational or other important areas of functioning." In short, you know you are struggling with anxiety when you are struggling to function in your daily life.
Additionally, when I use the word "depression," I'm talking about a significant mood change that lasts for an extended period of time and can be debilitating.
Why is it so hard to talk about?
Even now, after I've come so far, there is still a catch in my throat when I tell someone about this blog I am writing. . . this fear that I will be judged or seen as someone who doesn't have it all together. But nobody has it all together, and if we understood that, I think we would be more willing to talk. Another reason it is so hard to talk about is that perhaps you HAVE reached out and you were given some really bad advice. Maybe someone told you that you did not have enough faith for God to heal you. At any rate, there is a "shame" that most people feel when they consider sharing their struggles with anxiety and depression. Ironically, this only makes the condition worse. I think it would be helpful to dissect the word "anxiety" a little bit.
Doesn't the bible say "be anxious for nothing?"
I've heard this line many times, and when people say it they mean: "you are sinning by being anxious." I would argue that it is more complex than that. As I mentioned in the introduction blog, I believe that we are mind, body and soul. Anxiety must be tackled in each of those areas. You can have a right heart before God and still have a panic attack. Certain diseases and sicknesses can cause hormone levels to be thrown out of whack so that you are feeling anxious. When my daughter was born, I went through a debilitating episode of postpartum depression. I don't think that I was sinning when I burst into spontaneous sobbing spells and my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. My hormones were just wonky. In the same breath, I will say "the root of it all is sin."
WHAT?!
Let me explain.
In the garden, everything was perfect. Minds were perfect. Bodies were perfect. Souls were right with God. Sin entered and EVERYTHING was tainted. Brains no longer produce and process chemicals like serotonin properly. Heart valves no longer work indefinitely. Souls are also corrupted. They now long for and worship things that do not satisfy: food, sex, money, fame, friends, family, The Bachelorette, Snapchat, chocolate, FOX News, styles of church worship, cats, and things like these.
Therefore, we have a mind, body, soul corruption problem and a really confusing mess. Sometimes The Church struggles with the term "clinical anxiety" because it starts to sound really science-y and we get hives. This always baffles me because there are plenty of scenarios where most Christians would welcome science into the conversation (i.e. medical problems, scientific evidence of 6-day creation, etc). Yet when it comes to mental health, fundamentalists suddenly renege and say "there is no physicality or science to your struggle. You're just a really bad Christian."
Church, I think we can do better than that.
How do we handle "sin" in an anxious person? I think we handle it the way we would in a person who has any type of thorn in the flesh... in other words: the way you would handle a normal person. Why am I talking about this and why does it matter? I think it matters because so many people are feeling alone and isolated, and Satan loves that. (More to come in future blogs about Satan's heyday with mental health). I think it matters because people struggling with anxiety do not need more condemnation. They need truth and they need someone to listen.
"I still don't see the difference between clinical and spiritual anxiety (as in Philippians 4:6-7)."
Maybe an example would help:
Sometimes when Esther wakes up crying in the night, my chest starts tightening and the walls start closing in. I've worked though this scenario with my counselor before. After talking through it, I realized what was happening. I was believing some lies and had some major cognitive distortions. I realized I was telling myself things like "a good mom would not let their baby scream" . . ."I must have done something wrong" . . . "I ruined her sleep schedule yesterday." All of those things were building up inside me causing a lot of frustration. Before counseling, I would not have made those connections. All I knew was: "I feel super anxious."
Philippians 4:6-7 says "be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition make your requests known to God." I've done that over and over. I have prayed to God over the years and told him that I was feeling anxious, but I did not know why. I thought I was making my requests known to him, but I just didn't know what those requests should be. I would propose that a spiritual anxiety is one that "knows" the facts but distrusts God in the face of those facts. In other words: "God, I know that you love me regardless of how imperfect I am, but I just cannot accept that. I cannot believe that when I feel like such a failure."
Consider this analogy:
Let's say you go in for a checkup and the doctor finds a bad mole on your back. After taking a biopsy, he discovers that it is a form of skin cancer. You are genetically pre-disposed to this because you have a history of skin cancer in your family and you have fair skin. Why did you get skin cancer? Was it because of sin? Well, technically yeah. Because of the Fall, your melanocytes had a mutation in their tumor suppressor genes and.... (sorry, science teacher).
Anyway, your skin cells are not working how they used to. AHA but isn't this still a result of your WILLFUL sinning? Remember when you were 12 and your mom told you to put sunscreen on and you DELIBERATELY disobeyed? Well THERE is your problem! You need to repent. Had you been more faithful, maybe you wouldn't be in this situation.
Would any normal person talk to someone that way? No. But we talk like that to people with mental illnesses. The bedrock truth is that SIN IS THE CAUSE. But we really need to have more grace. Yes, their brain may not be working how it should. Because of the fall, there might be some genetic predisposition to some chemical imbalance. Perhaps there was trauma as a kid. Maybe they were abused. Maybe they have a panic attack when they see an EMT because it reminds them of the day their loved one died in a car accident. Maybe there really isn't a good reason.
At some point in their journey, do you think they willfully chose to ignore the voice of reason in regards to their mental health? Yep. Do you think they became friends with a narcissist without even realizing it? Do you think they dated that guy their mom warned them about? Was that sin? Yes.
Can you see how ALL of us wind up reaping the consequences of our actions? To me, clinical anxiety feels more "nebulous"; without a cause. There is probably a spiritual root somewhere, but it may not always be apparent. Waves of anxiety will come. What God cares about is getting to the heart... to your soul... and making it whole again. Maybe if you took time to sit down with a counselor, you would reach that conclusion, but you will never get there if nobody is willing to listen. Can you see how maybe we need to have more grace with each other?
Someone without Jesus CAN find relief through counseling and medication, but they've neglected the soul. This is where my worldview comes into play. Anxiety and depression off the table, we are all still sinners. It's not like we are want for examples of ways we have royally screwed up. No matter what, we all need Jesus. The greatest problem in your life is not your anxiety, it is your sin. . . all sorts of things are fricked up because of your sin and anxiety is just one of them.
The thing is... it's SO much more complex than we make it out to be. I'm not trying to escape judgement. I'm not trying to ignore God's Word. I'm just trying to make sense of the world like the next person. I know it is really hard to understand. I want to honor the LORD and uphold His word as supreme, and I'm asking you to stop and look really hard. Look at the heart... and have compassion.
So good, Lyss!! I'm excited to read more :)
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