Anxiety & Depression 4: Vulnerability
As I mentioned last week, Satan seeks to ruin you with lies. One of the ways we can defeat those lies is with truth. Lies will not survive in the light.
To those who are struggling right now: Regardless of where you stand with Jesus, I believe that sharing your struggles with someone is going to be paramount in your journey towards healing. You cannot be an island.
Make it your goal this week to reach out to a "safe person" and talk about what you are feeling and thinking. The simple act of verbalizing your thoughts will "de-fang" them slightly. When you keep all of that angst inside, it will only fester and grow and spiral into a deeper, darker lie.
Who is "safe?"
I GUARANTEE there is someone out there who will listen to you and be able to help, you just have to find them. It could be a pastor or counselor at a local church, a close friend or family member, or a professional counselor. In a later post, I will talk about finding the right counselor. At any rate, a "safe" person is someone who will approach you with care and a nonjudgmental heart.
Why does it matter?
It matters because you need someone looking in from the outside. You need someone who is going to remind you who you are and who you want to become. The LAST thing you need (ironically . . . you are reading a blog) is another image on a screen to tell you what you should or should not be doing, thinking or feeling. You need a person. You need flesh and bone. You need someone who is going to look you in the eye and say "okay, let's tackle this together." Now, more than ever, we need real, authentic relationships.
I used to teach high school science and our passing periods were five minutes long. Students were allowed to look at their phones during this time before putting them away for class. I would watch students trickle in, walk to their seat, and sit down while doing one thing: staring at a screen. Sometimes they would even be snap chatting each other! One time I asked my kids, "so do you ever talk to your friends? . . Like face to face?" Very few of them answered in the affirmative. This is not just a "teenage problem." I cannot tell you how many "adult" couples I have seen out on a "date" staring at their phones. If you know me at all, you will not be surprised by my next statement.... this all reminds me of a Sara Groves song:
Not just for "depressed people"
I'm talking to everyone now. Young moms. High School students. Neighbors and Friends. We all need real, authentic relationships. I am not saying we should broadcast our problems to the world (quite the opposite!) We should have a small, safe network of people who can challenge us, comfort us, and remind us who we want to become.
So get out there this week and rub shoulders with someone. Have a conversation. Be a safe place for others. Don't just post a picture on Instagram of your dirty dishes to prove that you are a real person. (Although that might be helpful). Go for a walk with your close mom friend and talk about how you feel really inadequate some days. Have coffee with your classmate and ask them to pray with you about your test anxiety. Open up to your spouse about some doubts and fears you have been having lately and ask them to remind you of all that is good and right and true.
It will be hard. It will be uncomfortable. But it's what you need and it's what I need. Stop believing the lies that say . .
"Nobody understands me"
"If I tell someone what I'm going through, they will think of me differently"
"This is just how I am and this is how I always will be"
Those lies will keep you from discovering God's best in your life. Step out and be vulnerable. It all starts with a conversation.
"For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 'Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' " - Ephesians 5:8-14
To those who are struggling right now: Regardless of where you stand with Jesus, I believe that sharing your struggles with someone is going to be paramount in your journey towards healing. You cannot be an island.
Make it your goal this week to reach out to a "safe person" and talk about what you are feeling and thinking. The simple act of verbalizing your thoughts will "de-fang" them slightly. When you keep all of that angst inside, it will only fester and grow and spiral into a deeper, darker lie.
Who is "safe?"
I GUARANTEE there is someone out there who will listen to you and be able to help, you just have to find them. It could be a pastor or counselor at a local church, a close friend or family member, or a professional counselor. In a later post, I will talk about finding the right counselor. At any rate, a "safe" person is someone who will approach you with care and a nonjudgmental heart.
Why does it matter?
It matters because you need someone looking in from the outside. You need someone who is going to remind you who you are and who you want to become. The LAST thing you need (ironically . . . you are reading a blog) is another image on a screen to tell you what you should or should not be doing, thinking or feeling. You need a person. You need flesh and bone. You need someone who is going to look you in the eye and say "okay, let's tackle this together." Now, more than ever, we need real, authentic relationships.
I used to teach high school science and our passing periods were five minutes long. Students were allowed to look at their phones during this time before putting them away for class. I would watch students trickle in, walk to their seat, and sit down while doing one thing: staring at a screen. Sometimes they would even be snap chatting each other! One time I asked my kids, "so do you ever talk to your friends? . . Like face to face?" Very few of them answered in the affirmative. This is not just a "teenage problem." I cannot tell you how many "adult" couples I have seen out on a "date" staring at their phones. If you know me at all, you will not be surprised by my next statement.... this all reminds me of a Sara Groves song:
"Thank God for our dependence
Here's to our chasm of need
and how it binds us together
in faith and vulnerability
This cup, this cup
I want to drink it up
To be right here
In the middle of it
Right here, right here
This challenging reality
Is better than fear or fantasy"
Not just for "depressed people"
I'm talking to everyone now. Young moms. High School students. Neighbors and Friends. We all need real, authentic relationships. I am not saying we should broadcast our problems to the world (quite the opposite!) We should have a small, safe network of people who can challenge us, comfort us, and remind us who we want to become.
So get out there this week and rub shoulders with someone. Have a conversation. Be a safe place for others. Don't just post a picture on Instagram of your dirty dishes to prove that you are a real person. (Although that might be helpful). Go for a walk with your close mom friend and talk about how you feel really inadequate some days. Have coffee with your classmate and ask them to pray with you about your test anxiety. Open up to your spouse about some doubts and fears you have been having lately and ask them to remind you of all that is good and right and true.
It will be hard. It will be uncomfortable. But it's what you need and it's what I need. Stop believing the lies that say . .
"Nobody understands me"
"If I tell someone what I'm going through, they will think of me differently"
"This is just how I am and this is how I always will be"
Those lies will keep you from discovering God's best in your life. Step out and be vulnerable. It all starts with a conversation.
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